"It’s likely that over 99% of trees that you look at will be still here when you’re dead."
Do you sing in the shower? Cry? Ponder life's mysteries? Question your place in the world and spiral into a vortex of existential dread? We've all been there, buddy. Showers are vital for hygienic reasons, but they're also a great place for the mind to wander and can even lead to great ideas.
The concept of thinking in the shower is so universal that there's a whole Reddit community devoted to it. We've put together a list of the best musings from r/ShowerThoughts:
1. "The older we get, the less hair we grow in places where we want it, and the more in places where we don't want it."
2. "Somewhere out there, there is a tree that was planted the day you were born and it has been growing along with you."
3. "Every hollow chocolate bunny is carrying a pocket of air from somewhere else in the world."
4. "Water is really what a rainbow tastes like."
5. "Some stranger somewhere still remembers you because you were kind to them when no one else was."
6. "If you eat something with a cheese filling, you become the thing with a cheese filling."
7. "Graveyards are probably the least likely place to be haunted because, realistically, none of the people buried died there."
8. "There is a chance you could have used the same utensil twice at a restaurant at different times."
9. "There are more numbers than there are things to count."
10. "Birds probably do more people watching than people do bird watching."
11. "Every broken clock is telling us when it passed away."
12. "If magic was real, it would just be a branch of science."
13. "Everyone you meet has poo in them."
14. "Water is never truly yours — it's just your turn to drink it."
15. "Pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time someone rang a bell."
16. "The syllables in 'on your mark, get set, go' are a countdown."
17. "There is a number so big, no one has ever wrote it, said it, or even thought of it."
18. "We laugh when dogs get excited about hearing a bark on TV but if TV was a nonstop stream of unintelligible noises and then someone suddenly spoke to you in your language, you'd be pretty fucking startled, too."
19. "Lots of random people own rare, valuable items without knowing it."
20. "When you're growing up as a kid, you don't realize you're also watching your mom and dad grow up."
21. "Lamps in video games use real electricity."
22. "James Bond is always doing amazing feats in tailored suits. It’s amazing to think of what he’d be able to accomplish in athletic wear designed for the specific extreme activity he was involved in."
23. "If someone tells you a plot point for a story in advance, it’s a spoiler. But if the author does it, it’s foreshadowing."
24. "Almost everyone will go around the sun more times in their life than around the Earth."
25. "Your password has probably locked you out more times than it has locked other people out."
26. "Santa Claus knows exactly where all the evil people are in the world but doesn't do anything about it."
27. "You can remember that you forgot something but you can't remember what you forgot."
28. "Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can't find any enemies."
29. "You aren't paid according to how hard you work; you are paid according to how hard your employer thinks you are to replace."
30. "It’s weird to think that nighttime is the natural state of the universe, and that daytime is only caused by a nearby, radiating ball of flame."
31. "The tallest person in the world has physically experienced being the exact height of every other person in the world at some point."
32. "People who respond with, 'That's not how the world works!' when told to be nicer by others are the exact reason that that's not how the world works."
33. "Watching a graduation ceremony is essentially just sitting through a movie that's entirely end credits."
34. "The song 'In Da Club' is [now] old enough to get in da club."
35. "Your thoughts might actually be in such a personalized, coded shorthand that even if someone COULD read your mind, they wouldn’t understand what the hell you’re thinking."
36. "Light bulbs were such a good idea that they became the symbol for a good idea."
37. "A lemon is not naturally occurring. It's a hybrid developed by crossbreeding a bitter orange and a citron. So life never gave us lemons; we invented them ourselves."
38. "I hate to spend $6.50 on six pieces of raw chicken but don't hesitate to spend $5 on one chicken sandwich."
39. "Future actors will have enough childhood footage on the internet that they'll be able to deepfake their childhood faces on child actors for flashback scenes."
40. "It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it's fixed and finally cool, you leave."
41. "Security at every level of an airport is absolutely ridiculous. Until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s just, like, take whatever bag you want."
42. "Gummy worms have more bones in them than actual worms."
43. "There is no physical evidence to say that today is Wednesday; we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever."
44. "The first person who inhaled helium must have been so relieved when the effects wore off."
45. "The movie industry considers you to be an adult when you're 17 to see an R-rated movie, but they conveniently lower that age to 13 when they are deciding who pays adult ticket prices."
46. "There is probably a tree somewhere out there now that is growing the wood for your coffin."
47. "When you're sick, the advice you get is to literally do drugs and stay out of school."
48. "Given how bad body fluids and human waste smell, our skin has to be really good at blocking smells."
49. "Your skin looks like a raisin if you're in the water for too long, but raisins are dried."
50. "Kids in the future will probably be impressed that some watches don't need to be charged."
51. "It's physically impossible to be the world's most average person because that would make you a record holder, and the average person is not a record holder."
52. "When you watch a movie, you're actually just watching an edited recording of a bunch of people doing their jobs at work."
53. "A dog will never share his food with you, but if you don't share your food with him, he'll start questioning your entire relationship."
54. "The Trix rabbit can afford all of those disguises, but he can't go to the store and buy a box of Trix."
55. "Think of any point in history. You had an ancestor living at that point, no matter what."
56. "Two kinds of people watch you when you're sleeping: people who really love you and people who want to kill you."
57. "There was probably at least one person who was presumed dead that woke up in a coffin, and no one knew about it but them."
58. "We once unknowingly ordered our last Happy Meal."
59. "A pickle is a salt and vinegar flavored cucumber."
60. "Finding money in your pocket is receiving a gift from the past self."
61. "The word 'either' has two different pronunciations, and either way is fine."
62. "No one knows what percentage of $1 bills have been on or in a stripper."
63. "When banks charge overdrafts, they take money from people who don't have money."
64. "If ghosts have no mass, they would have to fly at 700 km per hour to stay where they are on the Earth."
65. "We often associate the idea of shadows with dark, but actually, shadows exist only if there's light and they disappear in the darkness."
66. "Everybody has holes in their socks. That's how you get them over your feet."
67. "It's weird that technically we have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs but 10 toes."
68. "2005, 2050, and 2500 can all technically count as the mid-2000s."
69. "Broke boomers regret not going to college; broke millennials regret going to college."
70. "You'll do more handwritten essays in high school than in any professional career."
71. "You need credit to get a credit card, but you need a credit card to get credit."
"Yes, I know there are a few 'starter credit cards' that one can get without credit, but the vast majority of loans/credit cards require an established credit that many people don't have when starting out."
72. "Anything that goes wrong at a yogurt company is a culture problem."
73. "There are probably people thinking they adopted a stray cat, while the actual owners are anxiously waiting for their pet's return."
74. "People born on January 1 are the only people that maintain one age for the whole year."
75. "You are half your mother's age when you reach the age she was at your birth."
76. "Horrible and terrible are synonyms, but horrific and terrific are antonyms."
77. "It's bizarre that social media and internet addiction are still not recognized medical conditions."
78. "The posted speed limit is the legally accepted maximum limit, but the socially accepted minimum limit."
79. "Balloons are fucking gross because they are filled with other people's breath."
80. "An undercover cop dressed as a civilian will get out of their unmarked car and arrest you for impersonating a police officer."
81. "More people follow Cristiano Ronaldo on social media than there were human beings in 1776."
—u/placeboski
82. "4 a.m. is the hour where you’re either up really late or really early."
83. "For all we know, the blue whale is the biggest living being in the universe."
—u/Caraprepuce
84. "Life isn't fair or unfair. Life is random. We expect it to be fair but that can't happen."
85. "You don't know if the most shameful moment of your life has passed or if it’s coming."
—u/Soukary
86. "An everything bagel is proof that you can seemingly have it all and still have a hole inside you."
87. "Short people are less likely to break their phone when they drop it."
—u/Whushe433
88. "We spend the first half of our lives trying to look older and the second half trying to look younger."
—u/lorievpl
89. "Most dogs spend their entire lives waiting to protect you from something that never comes."
90. "Humans are afraid of being bitten by spiders even though they have more teeth. Spiders are afraid of being stepped on by humans even though they have more legs."
91. "Your internal monologue doesn't have volume settings."
92. "It’s weird how everyone says breakfast is the most important meal of the day but it is completely acceptable to eat dessert for that meal."
93. "You never see energetic people drink energy drinks and you never see someone who drinks energy drinks that is energetic."
—u/zaGoblin
94. "Buying a Porsche is cheaper in the long run than having kids."
95. "Many SUVs don't offer enough space for sports utilities."
96. "A cool thing about getting older is that you hear from your skeleton a lot more."
97. "Fruits and vegetables fired from a cannon are biological weapons."
—u/LordOEternia
98. "Dogs are way more excited about seeing random dogs than we are about seeing other random humans."
99. "Bone broth is boneless bones."
—u/ImariP123
100. "Dinosaurs went extinct except for the few of them that evolved into birds, which turned into chickens. Humans then kill the chicken and turn them into dinosaurs (dino nuggets)."
—u/notalebo
101. "Your most annoying/repulsive song you’ve ever heard is on someone’s favorites playlist."
102. "Once we start harvesting comets and other chunks of ice for water in space someone is going to have the first drink of water that has never passed through any other living being before."
103. "We're the last generation who can talk to WW2 vets."
—u/d0aflamingo
104. "8 hours of drinking is binge drinking, 8 hours of TV is binge watching, 8 hours of sleep is barely enough."
—u/odneh_
105. "Sweatpants were made for physical activity, but wearing them in public makes you seem lazy."
—u/Emil_EM
106. "When you walk into a 7-Eleven you wouldn’t think it’s an $18 billion company."
107. "Your butt can shoot out all states of matter."
108. "Windows is the friend you tolerate because Apple is stuck up and Linux is a hermit."
109. "Watching a horror movie and seeing the characters do the exact wrong thing at every opportunity must be exactly how climate scientists have felt for 50 years watching world governments."
110. "As an identical triplet, you are simultaneously one of the rarest and most common people on the planet."
111. "A super intelligent species that was able to locate us and then travel all the way here wouldn't need us to take them to our leader."
112. "The younger generations bear the brunt of the recklessness of the older generations."
113. "All sources of light are temporary, and are going to expire one day but darkness, persists forever."
114. "If 24-hour clocks started at 23:59 and counted down till 00:01, people might try getting more done."
115. "Bass and vase rhymes with each other, bass and bass does not, and occasionally so does vase and vase."
116. "The system isn't broken. It's fixed."
117. "When you go shopping, the business is buying your money with their products."
118. "Movie theaters aren’t in the movie business, they’re in the popcorn and concessions business."
119. "Sony and Marvel treat each other like a divorced couple that hate each other but tolerate each other for their child (Spider-Man)."
120. "Even when a balloon is half inflated, it is completely full."
121. "Every minute of your day, you have to trust other people not to kill you."
122. "The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in Earth's history."
123. "Teeth are the only problem that if you ignore them, they will go away."
124. "A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you."
125. "Making a typo in an online argument is the equivalent of [your] voice cracking in a verbal argument."
126. "Kids will never understand the poignant self-satisfaction of slamming a phone down on the cradle to hang up on someone and end an angry conversation."
127. "Once we have self-driving cars, wipers will no longer be essential, because the car doesn't need a clean windshield to drive. Only humans do."
128. "There could be a viral video of you doing something random with millions of views, and you have no idea because you haven't seen it."
129. "Gen Z might have been the last generation to know what it’s like to get up early in the morning to catch your favorite cartoons on TV."
130. "There’s a good chance that your calculator history is more embarrassing than your browser history."
131. "Someone out there vividly remembers something you said, which you have completely forgotten."
132. "When we switch to electric vehicles, everything is going to become quieter."
"I wonder how our ecosystems will be affected with less noise pollution?"
133. "Adult life is hard, but at least we don't have to do P.E. anymore."
134. "Biscuits and gravy are weird because it’s like, 'Here’s some really wet flour poured over some really dry flour.'"
135. "It won't be long before people use 'the '20s, the '30s, and the '40s' to describe the 2020s, the 2030s, and the 2040s."
136. "We advocate not judging a book by its cover, but also glorify 'love at first sight.'"
137. "At some point in life, there was a stranger who got disappointed by how your voice sounded when you started talking."
138. "Most people aren't scared of being alone in the dark — they're scared of not being alone in the dark."
139. "Chances are high you are not anyone's best friend."
140. "All adults were children, but not all children will become adults."
141. "It’s likely that over 99% of trees that you look at will be still here when you’re dead."
142. "In the Cars universe, a movie about humans would probably be a horror movie. Slender creatures made out of flesh and bone riding the lifeless carcasses of cars for their convenience."
143. "We’re closer to the year The Jetsons took place (2062) than the year The Jetsons first aired (1962)."
144. "One day your parents put you down and never picked you up again."
145. "The most attractive people you will ever see are often random passersby in public — who you will never see again, not celebrities you can follow on social media."
146. "If heaven exists, it’s probably going back and doing your life over, but fixing all your mistakes."
147. "We go to work by cars each day, taking the same route, but almost never encounter the same cars along the way."
148. "The 10 years between 25 and 35 are far shorter than the four years between 14 and 18."
149. "The fact that bodies decompose and rot after they die just shows how much our bodies do to keep us alive from contaminates."
150. "If you're still pretty young, chances are you still haven't met the majority of people who will attend your funeral."
151. "Painkillers are the 'Mute Notifications' option for the body."
152. "Hearing 'I love you' hits different than 'I love you too.'"
153. "We really don't appreciate the fact that email is free."
154. "Finding an eggshell in an Egg McMuffin is both annoying and reassuring."
155. "There are sidewalks in the Cars movies, but they are all cars."
156. "Elementary schoolers who have no control over their transportation are punished more for being late than college students who own cars."
157. "Being 'on your phone all day' went from sounding very sociable to very unsociable within the span of a decade."
158. "Jello isn’t technically boneless."
159. "Pressing the ‘lock’ button on your car key fob multiple times is the grown-up version of saving your game twice."
160. "Death is a paradox. It makes everything meaningless while it also gives meaning to everything."
161. "The richest person on Earth is technically also the richest person in the universe, since our definition of rich is owning a lot of Earth money, and there's no way for extraterrestrial life to obtain it."
162. "Extra fries in your bag is going to become a thing of the past once fast-food workers are 100% replaced by robots."
163. "Most people would find licking the inside of a pipe disgusting but wouldn't think twice about drinking water coming from that same pipe."
164. "Whenever you eat canned pieces of fruit, you are more than likely sharing one whole fruit with someone hundreds of miles away."
165. "Headaches make you realize how much you take not having one for granted."
166. "If Apple had kept its 1976 logo, it wouldn't have to change its logo during pride month."
167. "Maybe midlife crises aren't really crises at all; the person has just reached a point in their life when they can do what they want and don't care what anyone else thinks. The people who are upset by it are just mad that their opinion doesn't matter."
168. "You probably know more Latin, a dead language, than you do Mandarin, the most common native tongue."
169. "You never really know how much fun you're having until you look back at that same moment years later."
170. "A successful marriage ends with watching the other person die."
171. "Academic grades are strange in that while you’re in school they are the most heavily weighted indicator of your potential, but they are never considered important after your first job post-school."
172. "A rating of two stars is worse than a rating of one star because you know whoever rated it actually tried and tested it, and they're not a troll or blind hater."
173. "Your belly button is just your old mouth."
174. "The brain not only named itself, but it also recognized that it named itself and was surprised when it realized that."
175. And finally, "Accidentally liking someone's post while snooping through their profile is the digital equivalent of stepping on a twig while sneaking through the forest."
Yeah, it's safe to say that my brain is utterly fried after reading all these. So I need to close my computer for a bit and go take a nap.
Note: Some responses have been edited for clarity.